Open Letter To Columbia House


A few years ago, I made the foolish mistake of signing up for the Columbia House DVD club. I fulfilled my subscription and then quit the club, finding their prices higher (especially with postage) than those at my local stores. And I didn't have to wait weeks to get my movies either. No, it just wasn't for me.

Since that time, however, Columbia House has nagged, pleaded and cajoled me endlessly to re-subscribe as I was "such a good customer".

I have received numerous phone calls, mailings and emails. All those "special offers" I have politely refused. Yesterday, since I was home on a vacation day, a new tactic reared it's ugly head.

Now I am getting recorded message phone calls. Yup, I answer the phone, and after a long pause, a recorded commercial is playing requesting I re-join "The Club".

They just DON'T GET IT.

Therefore, here is my Open Letter to Columbia House Canada:


I do not want your cheap CDs
I do not want your DVDs

Please stop calling me at home
I will not order over the phone

I will not order over the net
Can't you record it in your system yet?

I will not order by snail mail
I will not order by e-mail

Please stop your letters
Please stop your calls
You're driving me up the walls

I've been polite
I've been sincere
I do not want your products here!

I will not "click here" with my mouse
I will NOT subscribe
COLUMBIA HOUSE!

Thank you.

11 People would rather be commenting:

Maureen said...

Billy Mac said...
I've noticed in my stats that your blog is sending traffic my way...yet I did a search of my blog and a search of my gmail account and can't see any request of a review or a completed review...did I mess up? If you are waiting then please email me at submityourblog@gmail.com and yell at me alittle becasue I think your blog is great. I would have emailed you personally but I don't see a link to your email account...Thanks.
Critique My Blog

19/6/07 12:00

Maureen said...

Phara said...
I think several of us probably need to copy and paste that letter...

19/6/07 12:57

Maureen said...

CircesMagic said...
(Stands up and applauds) Here is what happens at our house...Cue ringing phone....I pick up the phone and say Hello...one more Hello then I hang up, if your not quick enough to answer then oh well, try another time, I am however looking forward to my move because that means I get a NEW number and less calls, WOOHOO!!

19/6/07 15:21

Maureen said...

BonnieRose said...
let's hope they get the msge.. lol

19/6/07 15:32

Maureen said...

Rachael said...
I feel your pain!!! UGH!!

19/6/07 16:06

Maureen said...

j said...
I feel your pain, too...but I really like your poem! :-)

19/6/07 16:34

Maureen said...

Ingrid said...
I think the Witness Protection Program is the only way to truly escape Columbia House. They're very needy....like psycho ex-boyfriend needy. It's creepy!

20/6/07 00:52

Maureen said...

LOL!!! Then sign me up...

20/6/07 08:37

Maureen said...

Heather said...
I love it! I've had my dealings with Columbia House too. No thanks!

20/6/07 10:51

Maureen said...

Jill said...
Ugh! Sounds like a giant pain!!!!!!! I knew there was some reason I didn't sign up!

20/6/07 14:18

Maureen said...

JMC said...
Ha! I see I'm not the only goofy poetry writer in cyberspace. :) I'm actually posting an ode to my coffee maker tomorrow.

21/6/07 11:52

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